چالش رایتینگ - اولین باری که بابت کارت پول گرفتی چه حسی داشتی؟

[ala]

@mahdi_jokar

I have the best father on whole world
I love you , dad for everythings you thought me

Your essay is very emotional. It is the admiration of me because of showing your respect for your father in the best way

[maryam]

I haven’t experienced it yet :((

[ala]

@mostafa.76

famous gave me 400 thousand toomans as a gift (like a prize)

I had this experience, I got prize about 600 tomans for being the first ranked student during my master degree but I spent that for paying off the university tuition fees of my undergratuated studies that was about 500 tomans. I want to say I was graduated without putting any pressure on my parents by these days the cost of education is getting so high that parents can not afford that even in the low level of education like kindergarten, preschool and so on.

[dordane]

@tatym

• about year 1379 این ترکیب جالبیه…درسته؟
• my old منظورتون سن تون بود…جالبه…من تا حالا برخورد نداشتم …شاید بجای old، باید بگید age
  3.prude منظورتون بود یا pride…راستش، مفهوم این بخش رو متوجه نشدم…
  بازم ممنونم و منتظر پاسخ خوبتون خواهم موند

سلام دوست خوبم خیلی ممنون از بازخورد خوبتون
ممنون از شما که وقت گذاشتید و خوندید و انتقاد ارزشمند داشتید
1- این ترکیب رو من داخل مقالات دیدم که به معنی حدود سال — معنی میده.
2- اینو شما درست فرمودید من اشتباه نوشتم مرسی دیگه یادم نمیره.
3- proud منظورم غرور هستش که اشتباه تایپ کردم.

[majedzohreh]

I was 19. I worked with a publisher and my first salary was a little, but I bought a gift for my mom with that salary. When I gave to her, she smiled and took me in her arm and I became very happy. I never .forget that memory

[tatym]

سلامت باشیدو همیشه پر از جوشش…خب، اومدیم که از هم یاد بگیریم

[tatan1021]

I was very happy
I was 20 years ,that time i
Painter tableau sold

[tatan1021]

خیلی ببخشین من تازه اومدم هیچی بلد نیستم

[mahdi_jokar]

@tatan1021

that time i
Painter tableau sold

I think this sentence is more correct than previous sentence

At that time I sold a beautiful painting tableau

[mahdi_jokar]

سلام
هیچ عیبی نداره همه باید از یه جایی شروع کنیم.
اصلا از اشتباهاتتون نترسید و باقدرت ادامه بدید
انشالله به زودی شاهد موفقیت هاتون خواهیم بود

[YoKambiz]

سلامی دوباره. رسیدیم به روز فیدبک. دوستان با تجربه لطفاً یاری بدن.

---

sara_ahmadi1486

@sara_ahmadi1486

encome

income

@sara_ahmadi1486

incoming gets a good feeling

نمیدونم income آیا بصورت فعل میشه استفاده کرد یا خیر. اما من اینو ترجیح میدم

Making money gives a good feeling

@sara_ahmadi1486

show to my family

فعل show بدون to میاد.

I was able to show my family.

@sara_ahmadi1486

I think it is better people start to work as teenagers

یکم جمله بندیش گنگه. فکر میکنم اگه چند تایی کاما میزاشتید بهتر میشد.

I think it is better, people start to work as teenagers

ولی بدون کاما میشه اینجوری نوشت

I think it is better for people to start to work as teenagers

---

A-mim

@abolfazl143

when I was teenager

یه a کم داره

When I was a teenager

@abolfazl143

In that times

In that time

اگر منظورتون اون روزهاست میتونید بگید

in those days

@abolfazl143

arrived summer season

summer arrived

هر چند به نظرم بهتره اینجوری بگید

When it was summer I would go to my parent’s village.

---

Gheidar1

@Gheidar1

eachy

ببخشید این مفهومش چی میشه؟ تا به حال نشنیدم.

---

Zh_2019

@tatym

( plus/above and beyond/on top of-???- the money I had myself)

میشه گفت

I received 110 tomans and added my savings to it and bought a bike.

اگه بخواید از به علاوه استفاده کنید

I received 110 tomans and added my savings on top that…

@tatym

It’s full of mistakes…If you can, Please guide me to correct it …Thanks a lot

There aren’t a lot. There are some and there is no need to correct them. By putting some effort you’ll figure them out very soon.

---

dordane

@dordane

I gave money for my job was about year 1379 that really was my start s job

یکی از اشتباهات رایج زبان آموزا اینه که give و get رو قاطی میکنن که هیچ مشکلی نداره.

I got money for my job In the year 1379

@dordane

my old was nineteen

I was nineteen years old.

@dordane

that days I had feel prude

یه موردی که هست اینه که that day یک بار رخ داده پس معمولا زمانش هم باید یه بار رخ بده پس میشه:

that day I felt proud.

اگه آنها روزهاست هم میشه از این ساختار استفاده کرد.

those days I was so proud of myself because I could help my father.

---

R.min

@R.min

hi my dear friends.it’s my first note so there is a lot of mistakes.

It’s just fine. Don’t worry

Plus a lot of mistake is plural so you say there are a lot of mistakes.

@R.min

let start

Let’s start

@R.min

when I was 12 years old my father pasd away

I’m really sorry to hear that man

I hope his soul is in peace.

@R.min

but I sow my mom was in terrible situation

I saw…

In a terrible…

@R.min

so I decided didn’t get money from my mom

So I decided not the get money from my mom.

@R.min

I grow up in 19.

I grew up to 19 — or better to say — I grew up to 19 years old ---- or far better to say ---- when I became 19

@R.min

I decided to find a job and earned some money

Because you decided to do something you so say

I decided to find and job and earn some money to help my mom.

@R.min

get

got

---

mahdijokar1.14

@mahdi_jokar

thank

Thanks

And Thank you for your kindness

@mahdi_jokar

At second I have too much mistakes please forgive me

First never say sorry for your mistakes. If you are hurting someone with your mistakes you say sorry, as a matter of fact you are not hurting anyone so there is no need for us to forgive you brother

@mahdi_jokar

for first time

for the first time

@mahdi_jokar

this hall

English speakers call تالار گفتگو Forum.

@mahdi_jokar

it’s

@mahdi_jokar

not volunteer

not voluntarily

@mahdi_jokar

my father said to us you are weak and you can’t live for your self anymore

Your father is a real man and this is how a lion teaches a baby lion to roar.

If you put a lion in a cage and cuddle it all the time when you release them to the nature they can’t even live for 10 days. They will die definitely.

So your father is a real man in my opinion to push you guys to work harder and man up.

@mahdi_jokar

show our father that we have ability to work and we aren’t weak.

NOW THE BABY LION IS ROARING

@mahdi_jokar

I will never forget the moment that I showed the money to my father

I’m perfactly sure he was so proud.

@mahdi_jokar

that days

Those days

@mahdi_jokar

1 he saw his boys growing up
2 he never wanted you to work for someone else,he had work hard all his life till you could work on your own farm,that words was just for you to grow up

I’m so happy for you man

@mahdi_jokar

on whole world

on the whole world

I’m so proud too Mr. Mahdi. You are self-built guy and you know how life works.

Now you are learning English which is another big thing for you to take a huge step for your own life’s mission and success.

Lot’s of love and good wishes from this group to you buddy.

---

majedzohreh

@majedzohreh

my first salary was a little

my first salary was small

یا

My first salary was not much

البته مفهومشون فرق داره اول حقوق اولم کم بود. دومی حقوق اولم زیاد نبود.

@majedzohreh

When I gave to her

هیچ مشکلی نیست با این ولی یکم فقط گنگه. اگه بخواید بیشتر توضیح بدید یه that کم داره

When I gave that to her.

---

tatan1021

@tatan1021

I was very happy
I was 20 years ,that time i
Painter tableau sold

سلام خوش اومدید به جمعمون

اگه منظورتون اینه که حستون این بود که خوشحال بودید و بیست سالگی اولین پولتون رو بدست آوردید و یه نقاشی بود که فروختید میشه این:

When I was 20, I sold my first painting and I was happy.

[R.min]

you are the best.I will try to don’t have mistakes like that .I appreciate you very much

[tatym]

@YoKambiz

ببخشید این مفهومش چی میشه؟ تا به حال نشنیدم.

احتمالا منظورشون achy بوده

I’m feeling tired and achy

اسمش ache هست
/منبع…دیکشنری لانگمن/

[tatym]

@YoKambiz

اگه بخواید از به علاوه استفاده کنید

می خواستم بگم اون 110 تومان+ پول پس اندازم رو گذاشتم رو هم و اون دوچرخه رو خریدم

[tatym]

Income فقط noun هست و حالتای دیگه رو نداره

[pari]

@YoKambiz

دوستان با تجربه لطفاً یاری بدن.

سلام آقا کامبیز.
ببخشید من اصلا ذهنم تمرکز نداره بتونم ویرایش کنم. این بار عذرمو بپذیرید
از هفته‌ی بعد با تمام قوا در خدمت تالار خواهم بود

[YoKambiz]

@pari

ببخشید من اصلا ذهنم تمرکز نداره بتونم ویرایش کنم. این بار عذرمو بپذیرید
از هفته‌ی بعد با تمام قوا در خدمت تالار خواهم بود

سلام پروین خانوم عزیز. خواهش میکنم این حرفو نزنید. براتون آرزوی موفقیت دارم ایشالا ذهنتون آروم و عالی بشه به زودی

[tatym]

@YoKambiz

pasd away

I think “passed away” is correct

[R.min]

thanks dear.yes you are right

[R.min]

@YoKambiz

I’m really sorry to hear that man

I hope his soul is in peace

thanks man.I hope so.