پ. ن : البته ترجمه دقیق عنوان کتابهنر ظریف اهمیت ندادن یا هنر ظریف بی خیالی میتونه باشه
The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.
Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
98/10/1
Pain is what teaches us what to pay attention to when we’re young or careless. It helps show us what’s good for us versus what’s bad for us. It helps us understand and adhere to our own limitations.
In some cases, experiencing emotional or psychological pain can be healthy or necessary. Just like stubbing our toe teaches us to walk into fewer tables, the emotional pain of rejection or failure teaches us how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future
The problem with the self-esteem movement is that it measured self-esteem by how positively people felt about themselves. But a true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves.
Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice—whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose. What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences.
The inundation of the exceptional makes people feel worse about themselves, makes them feel that they need to be more extreme, more radical, and more self-assured to get noticed or even matter.
We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied by only what we do not have. This constant dissatisfaction has kept our species fighting and striving, building and conquering. So no our own pain and misery aren’t a bug of human evolution; they’re a feature.
سلام بر همه دوستان گرام.
نکاتی از فصل 4 تقدیم نگاهتان 
If suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is not “How do I stop suffering?” but “Why am I suffering—for what purpose?
our values determine the nature of our problems, and the nature of our problems determines the quality of our lives.
Everything we think and feel about a situation ultimately comes back to how valuable we perceive it to be.
When we force ourselves to stay positive at all times, we deny the existence of our life’s problems. And when we deny our problems, we rob ourselves of the chance to solve them and generate happiness. Problems add a sense of meaning and importance to our life. Thus to duck our problems is to lead a meaningless (even if supposedly pleasant) existence.
There’s a difference between blaming someone else for your situation and that person’s actually being responsible for your situation. Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness but you. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences.
Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.
When we feel that we’re choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimized and miserable.
These five values are both unconventional and uncomfortable. But, they are life-changing.
1.taking responsibility for everything that occurs in your life, regardless of who’s at fault.
3.The willingness to discover your own flaws and mistakes so that they may be improved upon.
5.The final value is the contemplation of one’s own mortality; this one is crucial, because paying vigilant attention to one’s own death is perhaps the only thing capable of helping us keep all our other values in proper perspective.
Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction. Constant positivity is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life’s problems, by the way, if you’re choosing the right values and metrics, should be invigorating you and motivating you.
Negative emotions are a necessary component of emotional health. To deny that negativity is to perpetuate problems rather than solve them.
اینم از آخرین بُرشی که قصد داشتم از این کتاب به اشتراک بزارم.
خب دوستان عزیز مرسی که در این مدت همراهی کردین
طبیعتا این کتاب خیلی گسترده تر و پر نکته تره و مجال به اشتراک گذاری همه اونها نیست و صد البته گاهی بهتره خود خواننده بره و متناسب با تجربیاتی که داشته اجازه درک متن رو به خودش بده.
اما یه نکهه یادت نره تنها زمانی برو سراغ خوندن این کتاب که واقعا در آستانه ایجاد تغییراتی، اون موقع هست که میتونی بهتر پیش بری.
دلتون شاد و ایام به کام.
سلام
از قدیم گفتن کار را که کرد؟ عاطفه که تمام کرد
مرسی 
با هدف بری سراغش
مهم کیفیته 
از طرف همه میگم مرسی از شما هم که لطف میکردی به اشتراک میذاشتی ممنون 
حالا منکه دروغ نمیگم نخوندم راستش این پستاتونو اما من میدونم خوبه و میخام سره فرصت ازش استفاده کنم کمو بیش خوندم یچیزایی
ممنونم عزیزم. امیدوارم تو زمان مناسبش این کتاب رو بخونی که بهت کمک کنه. سپاس از لطفت 
