the worst insult you could come up with, without any bad words 
myself:
You’re the song in my playlist. never delete, always skip.
You are the Monday of my life.
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I like this one 
It’s a little too general and I can’t think of any.
But since I hate swearing, I always try to insult people that I hate, without using any vulgar words.
I can use your ideas 
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Hey there!
I read some funny rather ironic but polite retorts before, and I saved them on my phone, but I couldn’t find them among the mass of qoutes I’ve saved. But I think to outwit someone with your speech, is better than even looking for an ironic but polite retort.
Sth like this:
Such speech would drive people crazy! 
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Good ones!
And I really think in order to hurt the most, you need to make it personal. Cliché is cliché for a reason…
7 پسندیده
Knowing sth personal about someone, means you know them to some extent and that you somehow care for them to notice things about them and keep them in mind. So, we wouldn’t use it on people we love, because we love them. And we can’t use it on strangers because we don’t know them enough. And I don’t think we want to hurt them really. We mean to annoy them mostly, and I think outwitting or simply ignoring them would do.
Though, I have done that before. Once. And I regreted it as fast as the words were out of my mouth.
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Oh, don’t get me wrong. Not that personal .
Something like this:
It’s hurtful, yet not too personal.
6 پسندیده
Aha, got it.
It’s not hurtful, It’s annoying. You don’t hurt them, you make them angry, the “I want to punch you right in the face” kind of angry.
Though, I got what you meant. It’s just me being too sensitive to the words.
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I really like this topic 
Waiting to see what everybody comes up with😄
The TV series in the picture is called"Scrubs" I recommend watching it for the unique sense of humor, and if you want to see people insulting each other without using swear words
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These are so cool! 
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Come on! Telling someone they’re stupid and slow is not “annoying”. It’s hurtful. It’s not like you say “Oh, this guy is calling me a retard again… I’m so annoyed!”. You actually get offended.
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Yes…you can say that. It depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of person you’re talikg to. The word “hurtful” makes it sound vicious and cruel, you know.
It’s actually sth like this:
Anyway, you’re right. It can be hurtful.
Guys, I read this one in a book named “infenal devices”. It was pretty cool.
Hilarious!!
And these are not so much ironic but they are smart answers.
6 پسندیده
Hmm, I don’t like this one.
That is not hurtful
It’s like page one out of the playbook 
It doesn’t work. If that were true, we wouldn’t be trying to prove it. I mean the moment you start trying to prove that they’re not important or they don’t matter, you lose. We should accept it. Winning is important. Dominating the conversation is important. Therefore, the opponent becomes important. That’s why we are here, trying to figure out the best comeback, the best insult.
So, you either actually act like it’s not really important and simply ignore, or you accept the challenge and try to humiliate them
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Totally! It’s really interesting
It was only available in HD 
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Sometimes, it’s not about knowing how to answer back or humiliate stupid people, it’s about recognizing that the conversation before you, is a pointless and unworthy one. It’s the art of talking and communicating, knowing who is worthy of your attention and who is not. Sometimes, rising to the bait and letting them get what they want out of their goading, makes you as stupid and ignorant as the person before you. How could you say it makes you a looser? It makes you the downright winner, actually. You’ve saved your time, your poor nerves and words. If we want to react to every stupid person who so unfortunately crosses our way, trying to prove we are the smart and superb one, we would go crazy. Besides, what is there in being a winner in a conversation with a so-called stupid person? Do you care for their opinion of you? Definitely not. Why on earth should it matter to you? You don’t get anything out of it. Debating with a smart person adds sth to you, while debating with a hard-headed fool will always bring you headaches.
People hurt you as much as they are important to you. Family and friends, you love them, you want to make them believe in you, be proud of you, adore you, therefore, they are the ones who can really hurt you. Not some stupid people out there. They can’t mark you permanently. The most they can do is annoy you. Not really hurt you. Hurting is making someone really sad. Breaking their heart and pride and faith. That is hurting.
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Yeah, I know, but you got me wrong.
I’m not saying you have to react every time anyone opens their mouth. The thing is, when you say these words, when you say “I don’t care about you”, “It doesn’t matter for me”, “Your opinion is not important”, it totally negates the whole thing. You have to show that. The moment you start telling them that you don’t care, you’re doing the opposite.
So, I’m just saying if you don’t care, show it. Don’t say it . I’m not saying you have to argue with everyone. You can simply ignore them. Sometimes, that’s the only smart move for sure.
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-The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
-Isn’t there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
-If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?
-Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
-I envy people who have never met you.
-I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
-I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
-Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything!
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These are nice.
I love this one
And, way to keep it polite
6 پسندیده
In that case, you got me wrong first.
I didn’t mean you can say that to someone as some sort of retort. You said, such answers can be hurtful and I meant to say it matters out of whose mouth they pour out. I meant if you don’t care for someone, they wouldn’t be able to hurt you. I meant that. It would be childish to say to someone that “you don’t care”. It means you care and that they’ve got you speechless. As you said, you should show it.
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Yeah, exactly
What the hell is happening here?
I thought you’re saying something like this, is hurtful to say.
But, you know, now I’m wondering am I being too liberal with the word “hurt”? I mean there’s a difference between annoying and hurting people. And I certainly do not mean to “annoy”. I mean a more personal thing that insults every fiber of their being. And I believe you can do that even if you’re not so close to that person.
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I’m not the only one who writes novel_long responses and then figures out she’s gotten it wrong. that’s soothing.
Gods above, who do you hate so much? I took pity on whoever they are.
Well, I can’t.
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