Just after Satan fell in that white hole my friends and I put our hands on each others shoulder and then we go back to the light world when the light world god see us he said why are you come here you Mean and evil
Then he kicked my face when I fell to the ground because of my pain but I don’t even stand up to attack then the wise god came and went to ashkan while he was leaning and then punch his core muscles and then ashkan raised blood and then fell to the ground and then the magic king went to mahdy and then hit mahdys chest with his staff then the light king call soldiers to get us in prison but when they wanted to grab our hands to took us to the jail mahdy yelled very loudly end this fight and then all the soldiers freezed and then light king said I think you don’t get any mercy even for yourselves while he was walking to mahdy to kill him I grab his leg and said nobody attack my friends and then I stand up half and then with the rest of my energy I throw the king on the ground and when the wise king took his gun to shut us ashkan shut his hand then all of us got unconscious when we got conscious again all of us didn’t remember anything about how we came to our room in the castle until the light king came in our room and said I’m very sorry about what happened yesterday then I said wait a minute we were unconscious for one day then he said yes your wounds were very deep they get time to healed up then mahdy said why don’t you chain us now or why you didn’t turture us then he said we find out you banshied the Satan so we find out we made a how badly mistake then ashkan said why happened to your daughters then he said they Waite for you in the great hall and also all the kings they are waiting for you to celebrate with you then we stare at each other for a second and then got up from the bed and wear our clothes and went in the great hall when entered there we couldn’t believe what amazing was that extravaganza then those girls came to us and said congratulations you banished the Satan now we can celebrate but first come with us and then each one of them grab one of us hand and get us from that second I never understood what happened to mahdy ashkan until the end of the party so I just could say mines to you that girl took me to the dance floor then I said to her I never ask your can you introduce yourself to me she said my name is Artemis my father put this nam on me I said and my name is mahyar good to see you she said thanks then we start to dance we dance over and over the all the great hall were full of the noise of our stomping then when the party get ended we get back to our room and I said to mahdy and ashkan you think what is our next step mahdy said I don’t know but Im sure the Satan come back to us as soon as possible than ashkan said so it is mean we have to get more stronger than now then I said so is that we have to find a staff or sword or something then mahdy said I think I know what we have to do then he took one of his book and we all get off of our bed and seats on the floor and watching the book then mahdy open the book and show us a picture of some weapons they had Egyption design then he said these are the weapons of Egyption gods if we catch them we can get very powerful then I said so why are you waiting let’s go to the world of Egyption gods then
5 پسندیده
بابت اینکه میتونید متن به این بلندی بنویسید آفرین بهتون میگم چون واقعا کار راحتی نیست و به شخصه در حال حاضر عمرا از پسش بر نمیام مگه با کمک کلی کتاب و دیکشنری…
سطح خوبی دارید
یه نقد کوچولو بکنم؟ یذره از عبارت and than زیاد استفاده شده و اگه بشه از مترادف‌های دیگه هم استفاده کرد خیلی خوبه و خوانش متن خوشگل‌تر هم میشه
در کل رایتینگ خوبی دارید و امید به عالی‌‌تر شدنش
Keep Shining 
1 پسندیده
خیلی عالی بود.خسته نباشید .
فکر میکنم عبارت each others shoulder باید به صورت each others shoulders باشه
1 پسندیده