Actually that’s a long time I haven’t been here, Your invitation and how you know me really surprised me!
Any way, parental authority
This is my most important challeng to work on these days.
I think my problem as a mom, is being too logical! I mean I’m a logical person and really I can’t have my child do something that’s not reasonable, or prevent her doing something that is reasonable but our society don’t accept it!
You know how much paradoxes we have in our society you want to raise your kid based on new world’s realities, but the traditional thoughts is what judge your kid!
As a mom, what I’ve always wanted for my kid is when she grows up, she feels happy and satisfied, I want her to be what she wants not what I want her to be! And I will do my best to get her there.
Um, well… I would talk to her, I would explain her the pros and cons, what she would get and what she would lose.
Actually first, I would study and search about it, if this is scientifically right or wrong, then, if there weren’t any scientific or medical fact how could I talk her out of it?!
My pleasure!
I do remember you, and I don’t forget the people whose skills impressed me.
I completely understand. To be honest, as long as I’m in Iran, I don’t dare to think about forming a family. I mostly tell people I’m not financially ready, but the truth is I’m really scared of destroying other lives. Our politicians who have the most influence on children in schools, want them to grow up like obedient slaves; our people teach them how to become angry and disappointed and the parents want them to be happy. I don’t know how these three work together. And I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to be a mother of a 5-year-old. Your work is really impressive.
Imagine the worst case scenario. She’s a teenager, and you’ve lost her respect. She doesn’t listen to you any more. As I know it, a child is mostly influenced by their peer group and their friends, then their schools and after all that their family. Imagine the other two ruined your job, and you have no authority over her. Would you raise your hand on her?
I didn’t think there are parents who really read how to raise a child. As someone who never felt the love of his parents, I think your daughter is very lucky. I wish her a happy life and wish you a fulfilling future. Have you read anything by now though?
I really appreciate your reply and participation. Thank you. I hope we read you more from now on.
Thank you Addison:beers:
If I had a child , I would let her or him live totally free . ( let’s imagine of a girl) .
All I have to do is that showing her the way of learning things . If I want her to be as good as it’s possible, then I’d not limit her ! rather , I should help her get use to reading books and novels , feed her emotions by music and art and let her live and experience and learn from living !
She must be free if she wants to play music as I like or be a model or live as a
I just have to help her to find her interests and her best way of living .
If you’re talking about the occupation of your daughter, I assume it’s acceptable then. But since you used the phrase “to live totally free”, I must admit it’s a horrible thing to do. You’re forgetting about animal-natured humans. There are devilish people trying to hurt your daughter. You mean if she wants to get back home late at night, you would let her? Most of the time a parent sees incidents waiting to happen which an inexperienced teenager cannot see them. And sometimes they don’t even accept that you know better, and you’re worried about them; that’s when a conflict shows itself. You’re picturing an ideal life in fairy tales with well-behaved children.
You’re right. But if they don’t listen, it’s partly because most parents, specially fathers, state it in a territorial manner. They don’t bluntly say why but just say we shouldn’t do whatever it is, which leads you to feel like they don’t trust you or that they want to control you and as a girl myself, I hate to feel controled or in need of protection.
Limiting someone without stating reasonable reasons, surely won’t lead to acceptance. I think parents need to be blunter with their children. Keeping them in dark only to tell them a half-truth later on won’t help.
your welcome
I didn’t say I’m gonna let her alone and let devilish people hurt my sweet daughter but I’ll be her best friend and protector .
I said she’ll have a free life … in her decisions and every thing that is personal .
It’s my rule in life , no limitation, no prevention . Just learning and freedom.
Their authoritative manner is because of the inexperienced nature of teenagers. It’s normal not to trust them completely. Plus, sometimes commanding a teen is easier than explaining complicated things to them. But of course, If a teenager shows their mature and understanding mind, the parents will trust them more. The final result comes from the art of communicating with each other (that none of us knows, I believe).
What I wanted to say in my previous comment is that sometimes little differences in definitions of freedom makes big conflicts. Sometimes protection means prevention; more freedom means more life-ruining mistakes. It’s not that easy.
I’m telling you, never insult animals by comparing them to these so-called human beings that consider themselves way much better than animals! Never! I love animals. How dare you. Off with you!
Hi everyone
Talking about parents is always somehow difficult I think we all have our own problems while growing up and it’s y’know unavoidable. And it’s like a cycle we pass it through generations.Nowadays people read about how to treat more correctly with their children and i think awareness is the most important part of parent’s authority
I love animals too (more than you, maybe ), but I was talking about animalistic instincts in them. Sadegh Hedayat said:
رجالهها هر یک دهانی هستند با مشتی روده که از آن آویزان شده است و به آلت تناسلیشان ختم میشود و دائم دنبال پول و شهوت میدوند.
So, yeah…
[I laughed a lot at the pictures. Damn you! ]
I don’t believe even one person, in Iran, has ever read a book about parenting. Someone, please, come and tell me a name of a book about how to raise a child in Farsi.
Let me explain myself with an example. When I was in middle school, most of my English class’ classmates and I, attended double shift schools. So, our classes were always held from 6 PM till 8 PM, which in winters, were practically dark.
Though, most of the times I would go there on my own and my mother or brother would only pick me up at 8. To be honest, having my brother by my side would’ve always made me feel more secure but I mostly refused point blank to let him come with me because when I would ask him why I can’t go alone, he would say, “because I say so” or his favorite answer “because the sky is high” and he would say that in a territorial way which would set me just glowering at him for minutes. I would have rathered hear sth like " because there are some useless bastards out there which I don’t want to see you anywhere near them". My brother is not a territorial kind of boy and still I sometimes find it hard to deal with him and I can’t imagine how some other girls who have utterly hardheaded territorial men around them manage to deal with them.
So, he sacrificed his respect for your peace of mind, and you’re angry at him? He didn’t want you to see the ugly side of people. You should respect that. I prefer to hear “shut up” instead of “there’s a lot of bastards out there”.
But they did spoil you, you brat. They should have beat you black and blue. (bad-timing joke; we were serious )
I already know the ugly side of people. If he gave me the answer I wanted, I wouldn’t say no to his company.
Maybe I am a tad spoiled. But I assure you that you wouldn’t call me a “brat”, if you’ve seen real spoiled girls. I am just a bit defiant and not the obediant kind. That’s all.
You think best parenting methods are laid in the book about parenting
But I can learn it from living , from wrong and right parenting that I’ve seen myself in my family and my friend’s families. Also I can learn parenting from novels and movies … but I hate read a book with these kinds of titles “ parenting “
I know what their special method is. It’s giving a child a smartphone and making them sit in front of telly at the same time. So they don’t have a chance to look around them. And parents find time to surf on Instagram or something.
By the way, welcome to our discussion. I hope we see you more.
You take that seriously? Actually, you’re the smartest girl I know (Sorry, other girls! ).
but I’ll be her best friend and protector .
), but I was talking about animalistic instincts in them. Sadegh Hedayat said:
]
).
